MY FIRST CATECHISM


Who made me?
God made me.
(He also made yams)
Why did God make me?
I don't give a damn.
Where is God hiding
and how does he tell
who is going to Heaven
and who goes to Hell?
He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
Wait
hang on
that's Santa Claus
Well
what else did God make?
He made the earth.
He made the stars.
He made big diesel trucks.
He made a lot of firmament
and 50 million bucks.
And God is good,
my teacher says,
and then she slaps my hands.
And then there's just one other thing
that I don't understand:
if God is good
and wonderful
and loves us earthly fools,
then why did he make Hitler
and why must I go to school?
But when
I asked my teacher this
her temper got real hot.
She looked at me
real funny
and she beat me to a snot.
This was how I learned to love
our kind, forgiving God.
And God up
in his heaven
looked upon me and
guffawed
and poured another drink
and then
he scratched his grizzled beard...

Give me back my marbles
this is just too fucking weird.



                                             (Mike O'Brien)