Napoleon's dick
sits pickled
on the shelf
the bone
from Bonaparte
small and coiled
shrunken and brown
a mute testimony 
to world conquest

Napoleon's dick
the joy of Josephine
envy of empires
struck down
the end of an emperor
beneath the auction block
going once
going twice
what do I hear
for Napoleon's dick?

Napoleon's dick
the little corporal's lad
that screwed all of Europe
for years
forging an empire
a new renaissance
thrusting royally
across the continent
and into
Mother Russia

Napoleon's dick
to industrial strength
Russian dose
and fell flaccid
on the plains of Waterloo
oh, such sorrow
the fate of empires
dreams of conquest end
looking into
your can of Spam
and seeing
Napoleon's dick.