I'm an artsy fartsy unit with an English degree,
I couldn't get a job, so I'm drawing U.I.C.
I can't stand the booze, the bars and the sleaze,
So I spend all my time at the A and C-C.*
(*Arts and Culture Centre)
You can see me in the gallery lookin' like I know.
You meet all your friends there and check them out below.
We all know that pretension's the game,
'Cause we're limp of the wrist and we all sound the same.
The show starts tonight, and I'm here with the hacks,
with my cigarette holder and two-and-a-half packs.
The free booze is flowing, the pictures divine,
with nappy in hand and three glasses of wine.
I'm fantastic, I'm great, I know I'm the best,
but I go unappreciated, I may have to move west.
They can't see the talent that oozes from me,
I'll move out to Gander to their A and C-C.